So you are going through life and struggling to keep it together. This seems to be a norm in our society today. As a society we are struggling with job losses, oil spills and a negative barrage of news. It is easy to get to the point where you forget who you are, what you believe and where you want to go in life because the overwhelming negativity around us can block our vision, fill our soul with pain and bring us down.
It is easy to get to where we are lax in our spiritual practice. This has happened to me lately. I have noticed that I feel distant and disconnected. One of the things that I have been remiss in doing are my morning pages . I have found over the years that doing my morning pages brings me peace throughout the day, increases my creativity and relieves a ton of stress - so why on earth wouldn't I do them every day? Is it because it gives me a snapshot of what is going on in my head and I fear what I think? Is it because it is easier to not face the truth? I honestly have no answers. I am back to doing them and I feel much better because of it. I use the last page of my morning pages to list the things that I am grateful for and why I am grateful for that person, item or adventure.
I find that when I focus some on what I am grateful for in my life I tend to look at my life differently. It gives me a better perspective and brings me closer to the Goddess because I am acknowledging the gifts that I already have in my life. It also gives me a way to see what I need to bring into my life, giving me a focus of what I need to improve and or focus on to improve myself, my life and my chosen path.
I highly recommend that everyone investigate the use of morning pages. If you are lost and disconnected it may just be the answer.
My Lady Nolava, Lady of Avalon, Goddess by Many Names, Nine Morgens. Maiden, Lover, Mother, Crone:
The year is ending and what a beautiful year it has been. Thank You! It has not been without it's lessons but no matter what the lesson is I always know that You are there watching me, holding my hand and guiding me through the waves of life.
This year will end and another will begin with You in the center! A full moon - a wishing moon with a lunar eclipse. What a beautiful way to end the year and begin a new one. You will shine in all Your glory and the world will watch. What an awesome gift You give us.
I am grateful for all that You have given to me. The blessings are abundant. Your presence, Your gentle yet firm hand. The whisper of Your voice. The lavender ray of Your being. The Air, Fire, Water, Earth and Spirit that I encounter everyday.
I thank you for my family. My mother, father, sister and brother. I am blessed with love. I thank you for my sweetheart and my son who love me no matter my failings. They are my rocks and I would be lost without them. I thank you for my home. A home that keeps me close to You as I can see You daily change in the seasons and feel the power of Your hand.
I can feel Your heartbeat when I walk across the land. The beautiful bloom of Your tulips and fresh, new air of the Maiden during the Spring. The warm, sensual heat of the Lover during the Summer. The beautiful change from sensual to giving of self which is what Mother's do daily, during Autumn. The cold grip of death during the winter as You present yourself as Crone.
Your beauty at all time astounds me and I am thankful that I get to see, feel, smell and share each of Your seasons and the many faces You present. You are beautiful. Thank you for bringing me here and making it happen. You truly are amazing.
I am grateful that I am provided food and shelter and pray for those that are less fortunate.
I am grateful for my health yet cannot forget those that have left us this year to be with You. I pray for their families. Although we know that they are within Your arms, safe and secure we as humans have a difficult time saying good-bye. I pray that their families find solace in You and know that one day they to will be with their loved one again. They are gone but never far from us. Your love enables us to continue on even when we feel we cannot go another step. Thank you for the compassion You give us.
I am grateful for the friends that I have made both online and offline. Your blessings abound! Thank You.
I am grateful for the inspiration You bring into my life on a daily basis. I see You in all things and each brings a thought of love and hope. You are the inspiration that fuels each soul and I am thankful for the beauty of all that You create.
I pray, My Lady, that we find peace within the world and within ourselves. Let our hearts feel Your presence now and always. Bring Your bountiful blessings to us as well as the love that You so freely give. Let us share that love with others knowing that today may be the day that we make a difference in someone else's life with the smallest of acts, a smile, a touch, it makes no difference what we are led to do, let us do it, let us feel YOU and follow Your guide so that others will know Your love.
Bless this coming year with self-knowing and self-love as we know that without knowing and loving ourselves we cannot know or love another fully. Give us this gift.
Let us look at our brothers and sisters and know that no matter who or what we see Your divine spark exists within them. Help us to put our judgments aside and see You in each face we look at, in each soul we encounter. Bring us this gift so that we may each love one another and be blessed by Your compassion.
Bring us prosperity so no person goes hungry and each has a bed to sleep in. Give our children the hope of a future knowing that You provide.
Help us learn how to tend to Your body Mother Eartha! Let us find the ways to pamper You. Let us freely give back to You as much as You give to us. Give us the will and understanding to learn Your ways.
These things I ask You with love and in love for myself and for my brothers and sisters. I thank you for all You give, all You do and all You are.
My Lady Nolava, Lady of Avalon, Goddess by many names, Nine Morgens:
I see the beauty of you around me. The tall green pine trees, the golden leaves that have turned on the Oak trees. The beauty is remarkable. I hear the wind blowing, speaking in peaceful, graceful words yet commanding attention from all that are near. At times it sounds like the rolling waves at the shoreline at other times it speaks your name Nnnnoooollllaaavvvvaaa.
The air is cool and crisp waking one's soul and refreshing it. I often wonder if the Land of Avalon is as beautiful as my mere human self can see now.
You, My Lady, have so many faces, so many names and the power greater than man can comprehend. It is my joy, my pleasure, my honor to call you Mother.
I come to you this day knowing that yours is the sweetest voice I have ever heard and no matter how harsh the lesson yours is the gentlest hand that holds mine. No matter how tired, depressed, sad, happy, or any emotion one can express you are always here beside me, guiding me, loving me. It is a true comfort.
I am blessed to be your daughter, to walk your path, to feel your heartbeat vibrate under me and resonate within my soul and body. I long for Avalon yet know that my work here is not complete. I find solace within your arms and nourishment at your breast. I thank you My Lady for choosing me to be a Priestess of Avalon as the joy, solace and pleasure is truly mine.
There may be very few out there that find this of any meaning but for me it has
been a BIG release and in turn I know that if I have had this issue there are
others who have or are struggling with it also. So I am going to share.
I was laying in bed this morning between being awake and
debating on whether to go back to sleep when I thought... "I did this to
myself!! When I had money I used to always say "It is nice to have it but I
would be just as happy without it." So I was laying there wondering if I changed
those words around to something along the lines of "OK I thought I would be
happier without it but I now know that it is better to have it." If it would
change my life for the better and then it hit me... like a ton of
I was raised in a Baptist church. Although I have been
walking a pagan path for over 15 years I realized this morning that I did not
get rid of all of my Christian beliefs because I still found myself going to the
Gods and Goddesses and asking for forgiveness for my "sins"... I carried the
dogma of sin within me this whole time but the kicker to this is that no matter
how many times I asked for forgiveness I never felt forgiven. Why? Because I
held myself to the Christian dogma of what sin is and could never release what I
felt I had done wrong within my life. So all these years I carried these
burdens within myself like a martyr trying to beg, borrow and plead with the
Goddess to take them away but I WAS NOT WILLING to let them GO!! It was my
punishment to live with them, of course, since the Goddess wouldn't take them!
Until this morning!
So here is what I have realized. First I no longer
believe in "sin"... Secondly I am human and am going to make mistakes. We learn
from mistakes and if our mistakes are bad enough Karma will bite us in the butt,
but once the mistake is made we must forgive OURSELF before the Goddess can take
it away. The Goddess doesn't deem that you are wrong and need to pay penance. The Universe says that if you do this you will pay this consequence and you do. Ultimately the choice of "forgiveness" is one that YOU must make for
yourself. YOU have to release the guilt you feel for the wrong you perceive.
The Goddess cannot do it for you. You can choose to hold onto it and feel bad
for your past ills and continue to beat yourself up over it or you can see that
you have learned whatever lesson you were suppose to learn and have paid for the
mistake if it was one that caused Karma to show you your lesson but once it is
done it is done and holding onto it serves no purpose.
The guilt we carry around for our perceived wrong
actions and mistakes will eat us alive and keeps us within the mindset of non
deserving. Until we release ourselves from the feeling of the guilt then we
stay in a rut of feeling unworthy. Once we realize that the things that have
happened to us, that we had no control over and did not cause is not our fault
and once we realize that our actions hurt us more than others because we have
chosen to hold onto them and let them rule our lives we are free! This
realization that I have not "sinned" and am not judged by the powers that be
constantly and continually has been a very freeing experience.
I believe that no matter what religion we come from we
bring parts of it to our path and we may not always realize it. I brought the
dogma of sin to mine. I judged myself according to the Christrian rules and in
turn held onto things that were not necessary to hang on to. I have never done
anything so terrible in my life that I should hide and be ashamed and yet that
is how I felt about things I have done that hurt others. I believe that the
hurt they felt is nothing to the guilt I have carried over the years for hurting
them and all of this is because I didn't realize that I had held onto this
dogma. I cannot tell you how many times I have sat in front of my altar begging
the Goddess to "take this away" or "release me from this" and always it has been
a past "sin" that I was begging for when in reality I didn't realize that I was
judging myself by another religions standards and that I was the only one that
could release it and move on.
What a wonderful and freeing lesson I have learned this
morning... for me it is life changing!!